- Why are you offering this information?
The essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is loving relationships. But even with a willing heart and a knowledge of Gospel principles, it is often hard to fully understand ourselves, the people we love, and how to deal with the myriads of problems that can arise. That is why our subtitle is “Learning How to Love”. The information offers people a new perspective on how marriage and other close relationships work and some effective tools to make positive changes.
- What is the purpose of this website?
Simply put, to improve and strengthen our family and other vital relationships. The vast majority of the included concepts are applicable to any relationship that requires love, honesty and commitment. However, because as a Church we stress the importance of marriage the elements that are unique to marriage receive special focus.
We offer this information freely in the hopes that it will be used as source material for classes, meetings, or individual study. Feel free to make changes as needed for local norms and the type of usage. The only thing we ask is that you do not change any of the presentations and then repost them publicly.
- Shouldn’t the Church just focus on the Gospel instead of spending resources on marriage and relationships?
Learning Christ-like love is the heart of the gospel and one of the most difficult commandments. Consequently, this material is at the core of the Gospel. Think of it as the Gospel in action. Also the Church has many concerns, and some of the best changes arise from local members addressing problems they observe and hope to resolve.
- Is this website just for married couples?
No. All of us have important relationships with parents, children, siblings, other relatives and close friends that need attention. Couples intending to marry can avoid a lot of frustration and heartache by studying the material on this website. And our young men and women must learn how to create lasting, healthy relationships.
- The Church has had a Marriage and Family Relationships manual for a long time. What is different about this website?
The existing Church manual contains excellent principles. However, many people find it difficult to implement those principles in complex relationships. This website strives to provide useful, practical tools to help people navigate difficult problems.
- I am concerned that some of the materials and resources cited have not been formally approved by the Church.
One of the great principles of the Gospel is that we incorporate all truth, whatever the source. The Church simply cannot conduct the type of research and documentation that is required to understand the complexities of marriage and other important relationships. The non-LDS sources are recognized by LDS experts as being the most advanced available. The good news is that the core principles espoused by these researchers fit very well with our LDS precepts.
- Can I use the information I find here to fix my spouse?
In a word, no. Most people are surprised to find that most of the website helps us fix ourselves. In fact, the place where change must begin is with you. When we truly understand ourselves, our motivations, and our desires, we change and our marriage changes with us. Your spouse cannot be manipulated or forced into changing, and attempting to do so will only cause greater difficulty.
- What can I expect if I invest my time and attention to understanding and using the information on this website?
This purpose of this website is relationship transformation, not merely to provide information. When you have come to terms with yourself, and really understand the process of marriage, you will be capable of making fundamental changes in the way your marriage works. These changes will bring about honest communication, mutual respect, and the vibrant relationship we all anticipated.
- Although I believe my marriage really needs some changes, my spouse resists working with me on to improve our relationship. Where does that leave me?
This is one of the most exciting aspects of this website – when you change, your marriage will change. This does not mean you will get everything you want, or even that your spouse will not resist the change, but it does mean that the stasis that creates parallel marriage can be broken.
- Although my spouse and I are committed to our marriage, we just seem to be going though the motions. Can this the principles you suggest here really help us restore the excitement and fun we once had?
Yes. Intimacy – spiritual, emotional and physical – all work together to enrich and strengthen our marriages. This website is about creating the intimacy we all seek.
- I think we may be headed for a divorce. Are we past the point where this information can be helpful?
Not at all. In fact, the point of maximum pain is when change is most likely to happen. Only instead of giving up, that tension can be converted into fundamental change. Neither of you really wants a divorce, what you really want is feel loved and accepted. This website can help you achieve that wonderful state.
- We’ve been married 20, 30 or 40 years. It’s too late to change, right?
Wrong! Marriages can be renewed at any stage. It’s not easy, but it is worth it.